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 Hello. My name is Susan Sherbert and I help people reproduce. I am the owner of A & S Printing & Copy. . .  Oh sorry about that, wrong occupation. Let’s start again. Hi. I’m Susan Sherbert and I am the new humor columnist for Today’s Women of OC. It is my job to make you laugh or at least smile, but I’ll even settle for a little smirk or two. I have plenty of material to share with you but since there is a bit of a comedy theme running throughout these pages, I have decided to talk about humor.

When it comes to humor, my first observation is that nothing about comedy makes sense. Why do we laugh when someone trips over the dog spilling their entire plate of spaghetti on the new silk curtains? People laugh at such things, but why? The klutz could be hurt, the curtains are probably ruined, and your dinner has gone to the dogs. And what about that poor dog? Did anyone even think to see if the dog was OK or was everyone too busy laughing?

All right, so no one got hurt, and maybe the vision of spaghetti-covered curtains is kind of humorous, but what about when men get hit really hard in their private parts? That has to hurt, yet people still laugh. Does that mean when people are injured we are supposed to laugh? Ouch, I just cut my finger. Why is that not funny? Why is smashing a cream pie in a person’s face considered the height of hilarity? See, I told you, humor makes no logical sense.

Of course, there are all kinds of humor and everyone has a different view on what they find funny. I remember one year, everyone was talking about this really funny move. It even won an Academy Award, so I thought what the heck -- I rented it. I was absolutely shocked, stunned even. Apparently, some people find killing sprees that end with body parts being stuffed down a wood chipper to be funny. Oh, that’s right, the subject matter is irrelevant when the female cop has odd mannerisms and speaks with an funny accent. As you probably noticed, I’m not a big fan of black comedy.

How about this one: Why do we allow people to walk around with hair sticking out of the back of their head, food particles hanging off their face, toilet paper stuck to a shoe, or zippers open for all the world to see? We point and snicker behind their backs because they look like a fool. As long as it’s not us, it’s kind of funny. And if you do have to speak to the unsuspecting fool, keeping a straight face can be difficult. And you know you haven’t heard a word the other person said because you can’t keep your eyes off that distracting little speck of lunch hanging off their chin. Funny or not, it’s not really fair.

Why can’t we act like the grown-ups we are and say something like ‘Gross, you have a bugger coming out your nose!’

That brings me to the biggest mystery about humor there is. It’s not black comedy or slapstick. It’s not corny jokes or stand-up comics. It’s not people with a dry sense of humor or even the antics of a circus clown. The biggest mystery about humor can be summed up in two tiny words: Who farted?

Why is it that everyone at some point in their lives has had a giggle over gas? What makes farts so funny? We hiccup or burp and no one, except maybe little boys, find that amusing. Even when we sneeze, which is a funny sound; we receive a ‘Gesundheit or a ‘Bless You.’ But when it comes to farts, somehow they are just funny. In fact, you are probably smiling right now and that is a pretty good thing. It’s a heck of a lot better then laughing because at least with a smile you don’t have the possibility of wetting your pants. Don’t laugh, you’ll be old some day too - and trust me, that’s not funny.